Why do gay men spend all that time coming out of the closet, just to get into a cage whereby they have to look a certain way, listen to a certain type of music?
It has taken my friends years, since coming out, to find their way through the nightclubs and out in to the light where they can find similar minded people.
Do gay men feel uncomfortable out of their closet, so they need some type of entrapment/judgement to keep them in check?
Is it just a nice to have feeling that again (see previous post) if:
1) I look like XXX
2) I listen to XXX
3) I hang out at XXX
1,2,3, check = happiness?
Again I think not - it's obvious that people can make their minds up and choose for themselves, but why do I see so many friends trying to conform to a group/situation that either isn't right for them, or makes them uncomfortable?
Appearances can be soo deceiving, and appearances can change so much.
Listening to Kalmah - For the revolution
(it's kinda fun!)
Monday, August 16, 2010
This bitter earth
Just been listening to a lovely remix of a song by Dinah Washington made for the Shutter Island film.
"This bitter earth, yes, can be so cold, today you're young, too soon you're old..."
"And if my life is like the dust, that hides the glow of a rose...then what good am I?"
Those are just two of the lyrics I liked from the song - but it made me think. We're always trying to "get it right", as Dinah sings in her song - we have to age quickly to be the right age, slow down ageing so we're not too old for people.
In the world at the moment (as I see it) we have to have love or a partner, we have to progress our careers and selves.
Is someone keeping a tally? Is there a check board out there (that I haven't seen) which has boxes next to tasks everyone has to achieve?
Find a love.
Lose a love.
Live in a certain type of house/flat.
Achieve so much in a sport or hobby.
Get married.
Have kids.
Are we driven to these things, because they are natural and genetically we need to do them?
Is it because we're driven by social stigma and pressure if we do not?
Many of us are driven by a need to be special, individual and recognised. But when it comes to these social pressures, most people I talk to don't want to stick out at all.
My friends just want to be part of the group.
Have a partner - check
Live together - check
Make babies - check
Three checks = happiness
Or does it?
What of those people who don't want to be partnered up? And what of those who can't find a partner they like/likes them? Should they be desperately unhappy as they can't tick all the boxes?
I don't think so - but the pressures from society make them.
I haven't finished this thought - but I want to find a way so that not everyone has to feel trapped and perform certain tasks in their lives.
I think it links slightly with another thought I'm about to write on vanity - but I'll see.
"This bitter earth, yes, can be so cold, today you're young, too soon you're old..."
"And if my life is like the dust, that hides the glow of a rose...then what good am I?"
Those are just two of the lyrics I liked from the song - but it made me think. We're always trying to "get it right", as Dinah sings in her song - we have to age quickly to be the right age, slow down ageing so we're not too old for people.
In the world at the moment (as I see it) we have to have love or a partner, we have to progress our careers and selves.
Is someone keeping a tally? Is there a check board out there (that I haven't seen) which has boxes next to tasks everyone has to achieve?
Find a love.
Lose a love.
Live in a certain type of house/flat.
Achieve so much in a sport or hobby.
Get married.
Have kids.
Are we driven to these things, because they are natural and genetically we need to do them?
Is it because we're driven by social stigma and pressure if we do not?
Many of us are driven by a need to be special, individual and recognised. But when it comes to these social pressures, most people I talk to don't want to stick out at all.
My friends just want to be part of the group.
Have a partner - check
Live together - check
Make babies - check
Three checks = happiness
Or does it?
What of those people who don't want to be partnered up? And what of those who can't find a partner they like/likes them? Should they be desperately unhappy as they can't tick all the boxes?
I don't think so - but the pressures from society make them.
I haven't finished this thought - but I want to find a way so that not everyone has to feel trapped and perform certain tasks in their lives.
I think it links slightly with another thought I'm about to write on vanity - but I'll see.
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