entrapment

Why do gay men spend all that time coming out of the closet, just to get into a cage whereby they have to look a certain way, listen to a certain type of music?

It has taken my friends years, since coming out, to find their way through the nightclubs and out in to the light where they can find similar minded people.

Do gay men feel uncomfortable out of their closet, so they need some type of entrapment/judgement to keep them in check?

Is it just a nice to have feeling that again (see previous post) if:
1) I look like XXX
2) I listen to XXX
3) I hang out at XXX
1,2,3, check = happiness?

Again I think not - it's obvious that people can make their minds up and choose for themselves, but why do I see so many friends trying to conform to a group/situation that either isn't right for them, or makes them uncomfortable?

Appearances can be soo deceiving, and appearances can change so much.

Listening to Kalmah - For the revolution
(it's kinda fun!)